A Tale of Woe

How things went down...

So as many of you know, I love to ride my motorcycle here in Korea. What many of you don't know is that my Korean license is only good for cars and small motorcycles...

I have a big motorcycle.

So I've been driving illegally for awhile (which is actually pretty common). I've been waiting to take the Korean motorcycle driving test.

So on Saturday I went to the driver's license office. I had signed up on the internet to take the driving test. I bumbled my way around using my little bit of Korean and eventually found the "internet line". I was the only foreigner and no one spoke English. I gave them a photo, they gave me a form and pointed me toward a building near the motorcycle driving course.

I was the 6th person to take the test... only one guy ahead of me passed. We all nervously waited in the long line... watching...

If you accidentally touch your wheel to the black strip outlining the course, this huge siren sounds... you get one "free" siren. The second time the siren goes off... you're done.

Everyone fails at the very first obstacle... two ninety degree turns in a meter of space... that's about 3 feet. You don't even get to finish the course. They just wave you off.

I failed. So I signed up again for a test on Tuesday (3 days later). On Monday, I bought a tape measure, and some black tape. I drove down to the river and found an empty parking lot. I carefully marked out the course. And then over the next few hours I drove that course about 500 times (I'm not even joking, and I have the sun burn to prove it). I met several older Korean gentlemen who were curious about what I was doing. They even helped me out a little.

On Tuesday I woke up early... I went back to the river and drove the course another 20 times. Then I drove to the testing area.

This time I was the 10th person to take the test (out of about 45). I was really nervous. My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking a little. I met a Korean guy my age who said he was going to New York. He practiced his English with me for awhile. He was there with a friend (who didn't pass). He told me he had passed the course many years ago.

I sat through the instructions the cop gave to the group... understanding a little. Then I went outside with the other drivers. I waited... one fail... two fails... three fails... four fails... one pass... five fails... six fails... seven fails... eight fails... and then I heard my number "saum-bek-ship" (they couldn't say my name). I walked to the camera... looked up to prove it was me... put on the helmet and got on the bike.

You can do this, Ryan. Slow and easy... look into your turn... don't freak out...
And then... in about 5 seconds it was over... The bike had such a different feel then my bike... stiffer... not as responsive... I couldn't do it... I said a few choice words... fail number 2.

The fail rate is 90 percent. 40 of us took the test... about 4 passed. It's a money making scheme.

Do I want to try again? I don't know. I know of a man who took it 25 times before he passed. I don't think I have that kind of patience.

That darn first obstacle kills everybody... if you make it past, then everything else is a breeze. Argh... so angry. Why can't they just transfer my American motorcycle endorsement? Because the US doesn't recognize a Korean driver's license so Korea returns the favor. Argh... politics.

So now I'm sad... and a little bummed out. And I probably drove back a little recklessly (always a bad idea to drive when you're angry or depressed).

Well, I will continue to drive with my current license. It's not for lack of trying.
We'll see... we'll see... gotta pick myself up.

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During a driving break, I took this photo.

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The course I made and practiced on. You can barely see the black tape outline.

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